Grieving Sorrows
by Emo-Shukun
Summary: He hated the Strawberry, he always has. However, Ichigo let him in on a little secret that opens up old wounds. Both share similar pain. Both are victims. Toushirou tried to bury it while Ichigo tried to move on. Will they be able to heal together?


**Chapter 01**

**Grieving Sorrows**

**Now—**

There was something wrong in Karakura Town—well, to be more accurate, there was an orange-haired twenty years-old man that was causing some mischief. Reports have been heard that the character had gained his Shinigami powers from strangers that wanted to use him for their own purposes. Trouble had been running amuck in the human world constantly for both humans, and for souls that tried to flee from becoming dinner for Hollow. Due to the inconvenience of what Soul Society had to deal with after taking in a large amount of information, it was obvious that they had to send someone out. Although, because of the circumstances of whom they were dealing with, they sent out a team to the human world in order to work things out. It consisted of two females and four males—believe or not, two of the males were not thrilled into getting involved into this situation, and neither was one of the females.

With the team being the same one to guard the town five years ago, everyone hoped things would go a lot more smoothly than bringing others that their target was not used to. The captain that was leading the team was in no mood for fooling around with human routines so that he could get back to his strict training. His lieutenant was more cheerful about the mission because she wanted to see how much their human companions have changed over the years. As happy as she was, it made the others seem gloomy about the situation… especially the shaved headed male that was checking others out to see how strong they were. Though his best friend ignored the battle-lover's hungry battle cry, he was peaking at some of the salons that they continued to pass by. All of them noticed this and wanted to throw him into the buildings he looked at, they had to contact the male that they were brought to observe.

Reaching a large campus with a few students walking out, the majority of the group decided to find him.

"Shouldn't we tell them not to do this?" The short raven-haired female whispered to her childhood friend with a tint of concern for their wellbeing. "We have enough time to convince them otherwise."  
"Even if we did, there's nothing we could say to them to stay off his back. All we can do is redirect things until Ichigo gives them his permission." Brows knitted in worry. "I'll talk to him if you distract them…"  
Knowing that two were falling behind to whisper about something, the leader stopped to look at the two. "What are you mumbling about to one another for? Is there something that you're not telling us?"

The two slightly tensed as the group's focused turned to them; they could not saying anything to them because it was not their place. Silence filled them for an entire minute as everyone waited patiently to speak up, mainly for the two that were pointed out. It did not take long to have the female submit to her superior because she had not title or seat to defend her, so she opened her mouth. As she did so, the other turned his back to the others in order to look her in the eye to break her train of thought.

She caught sight on someone leaving the main building. "…Ichigo…"

The all turned to look for said man, and sure enough, there he was, walking off campus with a short woman with long hair and a hat. She was clinging to his happily with both of hers to their surprise as they saw how the carrot top was strangely putting up with the actions of hers. It seems that they were now noticed as brown hues glanced over at the group briefly before the female took his attention once more. They said something to one another quietly before the small one left—but not without scowling at the group before having to run off. With him available to them, the captain's busty lieutenant began to run towards him with her arms open, at least she _was_ until the redhead grabbed her wrist.

He shoved her back towards the group, glaring bitterly at them. _'Honestly… I know they don't know, but…'_ before he could finish his thoughts, he walked over to Ichigo slowly. "We'll return to Soul Society immediately if that's what you want." His voice was loud enough for the others to hear him clearly.

Kurosaki Ichigo looked at him firmly before taking another glance at the group. "Tou—" No, he did not want to seem friendly with them. "Hitsugaya-Taichou, Matsumoto-Fukutaichou, and Rukia need to leave—Yumichika too." He returned to looking at his friend. "Ikkaku can stay, and so can you though."  
"Don't you dare shut me out!" Rukia roared at him furiously. "I'm not leaving, and that's final!"  
"Shut up Rukia," the redhead glared at her for the moment before having to turn back to Ichigo, coming closer to talk to him in whispers. "Hitsugaya-Taichou and Rangiku-san can protect themselves. Ikkaku-san can watch over Yumichika-san, and I'll watch over Rukia." He frowned at him. "Will that be okay?"  
Ichigo tried to think about it. "Renji, I don't want that incident to repeat again. I can't handle that—"  
"We're the best that there is, and I _promise_ that none of us will get into trouble for you." Renji clasped his hands together, bowing his head. "We'll only stay for two months tops, long enough to know that there is nothing that we have to worry about in Karakura Town." The captain would be angry otherwise.

"That's too big of a risk that I'm not willing to take." He stated softly. "Shinigami are not allowed to fight with humans no matter what. If I'm seen around them, who knows what will happen to them Renji."

Said male smiled as he placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "Trust in us to be careful."

"…I'll try." Ichigo sighed heavily in frustration before heading over towards the group. "I haven't seen you guys in a while." He smiled at them, but it was forced. "I guess everyone would be hungry, right?"  
"I want to go to the one downtown!" Rukia pointed accusingly at the male carrot top. "Understand!"  
"If that's the case, all of you will obey my terms, and you will do as I say when I say it." Although he sounded cruel, it was actually for everyone's safety that he was doing this. "Is that understood?"  
"Yes sir!" All but one answered—playfully for the most part, and they all looked to the captain.  
"Do you honestly believe that I would do anything that you tell me to do, Kurosaki?" The captain glared at him as he crossed his arms. "For all I know, you could attempt to put us in harm's way, Idiot."  
"Either you listen to me, or go back to Soul Society." Ichigo walked passed them all. "It's your choice."

Everyone followed him except for the captain that was given the ultimatum; listen to someone else's orders or return to be scolded. It was a no brainer, unfortunately. The Commanding-General declared that they would have to abide under Kurosaki Ichigo's command in order to stay in his good graces. With gritting teeth and arms now at his sides with tightened fists, he turned around to follow the group of Shinigami with that carrot top menace. They all went to a train station so that they would not have to walk for a long time—or else they would hear the busty lieutenant whine.

"Rukia, Rangiku-san, Toushirou, sit down please." As the three looked at him as if he was stupid, other people had already claimed the seats. "…bastards…" His gaze sharply turned to Renji, nodding slowly.  
The redheaded lieutenant nodded in return as he came closer to Rukia, whispering into her ear. "He wants you to be careful." He saw her eyes widened at this, knowing what he had meant by those words.  
"Then I want to be closer to Ichigo." Rukia attempted to approach said male, but her friend grabbed her shoulder to keep her in place. "What are you doing Renji, let go of me already."She tried to leave him.

"Then you'll be a bigger target than you are right now," he whispered.

As they reached the next stop, a large amount of businessmen entered the train, cramming the group into the middle where it was most uncomfortable. Ichigo's attention went to Rukia whom fidgeted due to being so close to Renji; he knew that she wanted to be near him instead, but she had to stay put. The cart shuttered slightly that caused many to shift around by accident, and a man slid behind Rangiku when Ichigo was checking on Yumichika and Ikkaku. A man on each side grabbed her wrists while the man behind her started to grin; she was not doing anything about it, was she an easy victim? Toushirou peered around the man that separated him from his lieutenant, and noticed that some were touching her. As he was about to speak, the cart shuttered again as they were turning—allowing a man to slip behind him and touch his rear-end. It made him inhale on his words into a sharp gasp before choking on it that caused many to look at him curiously, Ichigo as well.

_'Toushirou doesn't cough,'_ Ichigo thought warily, only to see Toushirou looking to the side as if trying to see someone. _'What are you telling me…'_ He knew that the captain was not trying to say anything in any manner—he then noticed the familiar face behind him. _'That bastard… I'll…'_ The cart shuttered again.

As soon as he saw Toushirou's face scrunch, Ichigo was on it as he shoved his way through to punch the man in the face before noticing the hold that three had on Rangiku. He then went on a rampage and had started punching the daylights out of the four men as everyone backed away in horror at the sight of blood. Renji accidentally shoved Rukia to Rangiku while asking her to watch the smaller female before he went over to place Ichigo in a headlock. Little good did that do as Ichigo slammed a heel in his foot in order to be released, and then turned around to punch him as well.

Rukia quickly cried out. "Ichigo—it's Renji!"

He froze with his fist only a few centimeters away, panting heavily. "…Renji, I…" The other nodded; he understood that it was an accident. Ichigo looked down to the four. "Touch my friends again, and I'll kill you." Rukia then hurried in front of him so he could see her. "…sorry…" she then embraced him in order to comfort him, but he only rubbed her head gently in return. "I… guess that I gave you a scare, huh?"

"No, I understand…" she hugged him even tighter. "They deserved what they got."

Ichigo looked at Rangiku, "are you alright?"  
"Yes, thanks to you!" She also embraced him.  
His lips curved into a helpless smile. "Ah."

Toushirou rolled his eyes at the three before his mind drifted to what had just happened, but he suddenly received a text message on his phone, causing him to bring it out to read what it said.

_Are you okay, too?_

_'Heh…'_ He nearly scoffed allowed; Toushirou knew that Ichigo was aware that they were touching him as they were with his lieutenant. However, it was obvious that Ichigo was trying to spare him from letting the others know about this. _'If we had been sitting, we would have avoided that fiasco.'_ He then replied.

Ichigo looked at his side to see his phone while the two females still clung to him, and he smirked.

_I do not know what you are talking about._

"So Ichigo," Renji called out. "Will it be okay if I stay at your place?" He grinned from ear to ear.  
"No way, I'm staying with him! You just want him to cook your meals!" Rukia hissed.  
Rangiku brightened at the mention of food. "Ichigo," she started seductively. "Can I stay at—"

Said male removed himself from her grasp instantly because of this, and he was not happy about it either since it pained him. Renji growled lightly at her for this, even though he was aware of the fact that he could not blame her since she did not understand. Toushirou also caught this, wondering if the man was being innocent about her seduction, or if he was truly unhappy about it. Ichigo's eyes turned onto the small captain, and watched as he immediately look away; obviously ashamed about what happened. It was going to be annoying to deal with everyone in his three-room apartment, but most of them can sleep in pairs… mostly.

Their stop appeared, allowing them to get off the train in piece. "It will be a tight fit, but my apartment has three bedrooms." Ichigo thought on it a little more. "If Rangiku-san and Rukia share a room, that's fine. If Ikkaku and Yumichika, I'll be okay with that too." They headed over towards the restaurant .

"What about me and Hitsugaya-Taichou." Renji frowned for not being mentioned.  
"He can take my room," he thought on it a little more. "You and I can take the couch."  
Rukia was not happy. "That's not fair! You're bed is the softest, why does he get to have it!"  
"Fine, you two take my room, Toushirou we'll have my office room so no one bothers him as much!"

The others shuttered at his aggression, causing him to growl at himself before storming off—vanishing.

Renji was then furious about this. "Damn it Rukia! You're supposed to support him, not piss him off!"  
"I just wanted to know why Hitsugaya-Taichou could get his bed instead of himself!" She roared back.  
"It doesn't matter! Try to remember what happened to him and go along with the decisions he makes!"  
"That's easy for you to say! You know everything when I don't! I don't even know why it happened to—"  
"If you don't know, then he doesn't want to tell you! You're lucky that you know _anything_ you idiot!"

"Go to Hell!" Rukia yelled at him before turning away and leaving.

As soon as she was gone, Renji sighed heavily in regret for fighting with her, but there was no time to deal with her when they were all exhausted. He turned to the remaining group, telling them that they should go to Ichigo's apartment and wait there for him in case he was not home. Although they were confused, they listened to what he had to say since he seemed to understand _everything_ that was going on with Ichigo. His mind was wondering heavily as they were passing a park for children, and that was where he saw Ichigo; watching over the children that played on the equipment.

"Please stay here," the redhead told the group before going over to the carrot top, squatting down in front of the one sitting on the bench. "No one is blaming you for yelling at us, but you did scare them." There was no response, causing him to continue luring him. "Rukia and I had an argument. She left us."  
Ichigo brought his attention to him, slowly patting his head before getting up. "I can't deal with so many people, you know how I get. I haven't recovered from that crap." He came over to the group. "I'll give you guys my pass to get into my apartment. It's up to you if it's permanent or not, I don't really care."  
Confused, they looked to Renji who lifted his shirt slightly before barely lowering his pants on his right side to show a skull. "Since mine is on my skin, I have a permanent pass. Clothing only makes the pass it temporary." Renji then offered to them. "Might as well make if permanent though, just in case, right?"  
Everyone nodded, and Rangiku volunteered the same spot by showing the spot that Renji showed them. _'Figures,'_ he bit his lip to draw blood, wiping it away with a thumb, and it formed a skull as it fluttered on the patch of skin that she offered. "You have my permission." Next, he did Ikkaku and Yumichika.

_'Damn,'_ Toushirou thought.

Ichigo approached him just as the captain's pale hands were starting to lift his shirt. "Don't move," the carrot top demanded before walking around him to shift his hair to place the skull at his nape. "Renji didn't know that they could be in other places. With it though, I permit you all to enter and leave my apartment, only." They looked at him curiously, watching him begin to leave. "Let's go, I'm hungry now."

X—

Everyone raided his apartment cheerfully except for the captain who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts as he sat at the dining table away from the others. Rangiku was testing Ichigo's bed earlier, only to fall asleep on it instantly while the three other males were on the couch playing video games. Renji knew how to play the games, so he taught Ikkaku and Yumichika how to play so that he could beat them as he could never defeat Ichigo. Speaking of their host, he was in the kitchen a few step away from the heavy thinker at the table fixing some dinner.

"Kurosaki," Toushirou called quietly so the roaring males could not hear him.  
The carrot top looked over his shoulder to see him. "Yeah, what's up?"  
He did not know how to ask him though, "about earlier…" He paused to think.

Even though he knew the captain was talking about what happened on the train and the pass that he had placed on him, he decided to avoid the topic. "What do you want for dinner? I was thinking about making hotpot since there's a lot of us, but if you want some watermelon, we'd have to go to the store."

_'He avoided the topic purposely…'_ It had taken a long time, but he eventually learned that Ichigo was not as stupid as he lead others to believe. "Ah," he would get him though. "Then I'll join you to fetch some."  
"Good," although Toushirou thought he got him where he wanted him, it was the opposite. "How else am I going to know what watermelon is best? But you _must_ share with the others and not hog it all."  
Something was off in his words; making him feel like he fell into a trap. "On second thought, I should stay here and keep an eye on the others." It was an uncomfortable feeling thinking of what he would do.  
_'He caught on,'_ Ichigo thought quietly as he pushed the food aside to dry his hands. He approached the table slowly to sit with him for the moment to. "I know you would like to ask me something, Toushirou."  
"It's Hitsugaya-Taichou to you—honestly, you were capable of saying it earlier." The captain instantly knew how wary Ichigo was about explaining himself to make him comfortable. "What's with you, huh?"

"Nothing." He answered. "But you want to ask me something, and I want you to hear me out. The best way to do this is if we're alone due to the topic, right?" His eyes saw the thin silver brows twitch. "I know what you want to ask me, and I know that you know it too. Which is why I want you to go to the store with me to have this talk on the way home." The other snorted. "You will not run away from the topic."

Toushirou froze for a second at this before glaring at him furiously, "what makes you think I would run?"

"That…" he paused to think of the best way to handle the question. "Will be answered later too."  
_'What does he think he knows?'_ Turquoise hues watched the man get up to finish preparing the food.  
"Toushirou, I…" in all honesty, he wanted to say it to him right now. "…I'm just being considerate."

The captain nodded, and before he knew it, they were already on their way back from shopping.

"Go ahead and ask me," Ichigo stated as they took a detour to a very isolated park. "I won't lie to you."  
Where to start… he thought on it. "Why did you put my _pass_ on my nape?" It was the lighter subject.  
"Would you have been comfortable if you had the pass where the others had theirs?" He saw him glare.  
"Are you implying that I would have been uncomfortable of you putting it in the same place as them?"

"Are you implying that you would _not_?" They were beating around the bush. "You were just touched by a man, Toushirou. I wasn't going to be a jerk and let you bare another—" he bit his tongue just in time.  
However, this made the captain glare even harder. "Thank you for coming to my aid, but what do you mean by that? Bare another, what?" Somehow, he knew he did not want to know the answer to this.  
"To make sure you don't run away, sit down." The other listened as if to prove he would not run off. "I'll start off with telling you that, what happened to you, has happened to me." He looked away unhappily.  
"I could figure as much, otherwise you would not have been so wary about having us sit down when we got on the train." Toushirou mistook the confession. "But I saw how you were watching us closely—"

"That's _not_ what I'm talking about." His voice was serious, and it angered the other as well. He knew that he was being a little aggressive. "Look, I know why your grouchier than before we met, and I'm sure you noticed that I'm a lot more hot-tempered than when you saw me last." He set the bags down on the bench next to Toushirou. Ichigo spoke softly. "I know what happened to you five years ago, Toushirou."

His eyes rolled. "I was nearly killed on three occasions, twice by Aizen. Everyone knows that."  
"You weren't nearly killed that first time." He stated gently. "Toushirou… Aizen told me what happened."  
Turquoise hues widened when he heard him say this. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kurosaki."  
"You're proving that he wasn't lying to me." Ichigo frowned. "He branded your upper right thigh, right?"

Immediately, the captain stood up. "You've lost your mind Kurosaki. We should get back to the others before they begin to worry about where we are." He felt is body slightly shaky, nervous of the subject.

"I'm not going to force the topic on you, and what we say here stays between us. If the others wanted to know where we were, then they would look for your reiatsu." As Toushirou started to grab his share of bags, Ichigo gently touched his wrist. "I told you, didn't I? What happened to you, has happened to me." The captain stopped to look at him; reading the honesty all over his face. "I know that it's helped me to talk to Renji about my incident, so… if you want to ever talk about it, you can talk to me about yours."

"I don't know what you're talking about, _nothing_ happened to me with Aizen other than nearly being killed." Toushirou could see that his lies were not being heard. "Kurosaki, let go." He did not even have to say the words because Ichigo was not holding his wrist, merely touching it. "Why did you bring it up?"  
"Because if you were going to be absolutely honesty with me, and listened to my terms as I said to all of you earlier, I would help you." The captain looked at him in disbelief. "I know that you have been trying to get stronger, but you know that you can never reach my level in case Aizen escapes his sentencing."  
Eyes widened at this. "Are you saying that you would have helped me with my training?" This earned him a nod, and it was almost too tempting to turn down. Everyone knew how strong this man was, and that he was even stronger than before. "This… it would stay between us? You won't say it to the idiots?"  
"You're not listening to me today, huh?" Ichigo smiled weakly. "Anything we say between us will stay that way." This allowed the captain to debate a little longer. "You don't have to say it now, there's plenty of time in two months." He stood up slowly. "I just wanted you to know that I knew about that day."

"Is that why you're giving me my own room to sleep in?"

"Well, sort of. Renji snores loud, and I assume that you're a light sleeper." He saw Toushirou nod slowly. "Anyway, we should probably head home now so that the others don't get worried about us, right?" The carrot top collected the grocery bags before heading off to the apartment until realizing that the captain was not following him. "Toushirou?" Said male looked up at him. "Is something wrong? I hope I didn't—"

"It doesn't make any sense," if Ichigo knew the truth. "If you knew about whatever it is that you claim you think you know, why haven't you told anyone about it? Are you planning to use it against me?"  
"Give me a little credit Toushirou, you know me better than that." Just the thought of being accused like this, had hurt him. "What happened between you and Aizen is none of anyone's business, that's why—"  
"Then why are you trying to make it your business to know that he—" shit, he almost said it. The distant memories were flooding back. "You bastard, you're doing this on purpose." His head was throbbing…

_'I guess that I laid it on him too thick.'_ Ichigo set the bags down. "You never had someone that you could trust with this, so you kept it to yourself." He lifted his chin up to look into his eyes. "Are you scared because I know about it?" His attention went to the tears that wanted to form beneath the turquoise hues. "You couldn't tell that friend of yours, and it's only natural that you would want to hide it from the world like I did. I wanted to do that too, but it was hurting everyone around me, so I had to tell Renji."

"Kuchiki knows though, doesn't she?" His chin was released as he received a nod. "You told her?"  
"I told her what happened to me, but I didn't tell her how it happened." He sat back down.  
Toushirou also sat back down, trying to learn more. "Will you tell me your story then?"

This caused Ichigo to look away in thought before answering. "About five months ago, I encountered a boy who was being picked on by other kids for bleaching his hair. I scared off the kids, and that boy was filled with attitude, it made me laugh. A month or so passed as I continued to see the boy going home in the same direction as me, so we would talk a lot, and I would treat him to ice cream." His lips twitched to smile, but it faded instantly. "After another month passed, I saw some men dragging him into some alleyway, so I ran over to help…" He looked to the ground. "They used the kid as bait to get to me. A knife was pressed against the kid's throat, drawing blood… so, I let them do what they wanted with me in exchange for the boy's safety." He scratched his head. "The men were fathers of the kids I scared off, but after they were done with me and released the kid, I killed them in a heartbeat."

The captain looked down, "I'm sorry." A thought occurred to him. "What happened to the boy?"

Ichigo glanced over, motion his head into a direction. There was a boy holding a woman's hand as they walked on the sidewalk in the distance. "The trauma of what happened to me, and what I had done to those who attacked me, was too great for him. So, I made him forget he ever met me." He smiled lightly even though it was fake, and he rustled Toushirou's hair. "Stupid, huh? Putting up with it to save someone you don't really know anything about…" Toushirou looked at him with a disapproving gaze. "Knowing me though, I would probably suffer through it again, in a heartbeat, just to protect someone else." He stood up.

"It was only Aizen that did it to me… but, Ichimaru was there, watching." It was only fair that he would tell his story, too. "Hinamori was on the ground, unconscious, and I was bleeding to death on the ground. He said that he wanted me to remember him—that his face would be the last thing I see before I die." He looked up to Ichigo nervously. "I was attacked by one man, but you were attacked by multiple. Your pain and suffering is greater than I thought mine was. For it, I apologize, and sympathize with you."

"I may have had more people to deal with, but you were betrayed, right?" He saw him nod weakly. "There's no need to say who suffered the bigger loss." Ichigo got up slowly and grabbed some bags. "Let's get home so we can have hotpot and watermelon, okay?" His lips curved into a bright grin. "Feel better?"

Toushirou looked at him in confusion for a brief moment until understanding what he meant; until feeling that the weight on his shoulders were no longer as heavy as they once were, and he smirked.

"Yes, thank you."

* * *

A/N: I have a lot of stories to catch up on right now, so I don't know when the next update will be.


End file.
